For those who are still struggling...

I'm not usual to post lyrics, but I think this song really speaks to me. For this few months I have been trying get away from this major sin in my life, only God and me knows what is it. But time and time again I fell back. I know I need to change so to serve Him better. I'm trying hard...

This song speaks about my struggle...

Worlds Apart by Jars of Clay
(my all time favorite song)

I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all adds up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love to give and die

To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
more deeply than the oceans, more abundant than the tear
Of a world embracing every heartache

Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow

To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees

All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe In the mercy that covers me

Did you really have to die for me? All I am for all you are Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart

[Additional lyrics:]
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost and
wipe away the crimson stains and dull the nails that still remain

More and more I need you now, I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain and wash the feet and cleanse my pride take the selfish, take the weak, and all the things I cannot hide take the beauty, take my tears the sin-soaked heart and make it yours take my world all apart take it now, take it now

and serve the ones that I despise speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains and dull the nails that still remain
so steal my heart and take the pain take the selfish, take the weak and all the things I cannot hide take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart,
take my world apart

I pray, I pray, I pray
take my world apart

Let this be a prayer in your heart... for those who are still struggling...

Have a dose of thought...

Fire can kill and fire can save.
So is fire bad or good?

A short note from a friend...

Reflect On it AMERICANS !!!!!!!!!
By Najib

A minute of silence For Everyone ? If you are still shaken by the horrifying scenes of September 11, please observea moment of silence for the 5,000 civilian lives lost in the New York,Washington, DC and Pennsylvania attacks.

While we're at it, let's have 13 minutes of silence for the 130,000 Iraqi civilians killed in 1991 by order of President Bush Sr. Take another moment to remember how Americans celebrated and cheered in the streets.

Now another 20 minutes of silence for the 200,000 Iranians killed by Iraqi soldiers using weapons and money provided to young Saddam Hussein by the American government before the great eagle turned all its power against Iraq.

Another 15 minutes of silence for the Russians and 150,000 Afghan civilians killed by troops supported and trained by the CIA. Plus 10 minutes of silence for 100,000 Japanese killed in Hiroshima and Nagasakiby the Atomic bombs dropped by the USA.We've just kept quiet for one hour : one minute for the Americans killed in NY,DC, and Pennsylvania, 59 minutes for their victims through out the world.

If you are still in awe, let's have another hour of silence for all those killed in Vietnam, which is not something Americans like to admit.Or for the massacre in Panama in 1989, where American troops attacked poor villagers, leaving 20,000 Panamanians homeless and thousands more dead.Or for the millions of children who have died because of the USA embar goes on Iraq and Cuba.Or the hundreds of thousands brutally murdered throughout the world by USA-sponsored civil wars and coups d'etat(Chile, Argentina, Uruguay, Bolivia,Guatemala, El Salvador to name a few).

Maybe, and although the memory of Americans claims otherwise, someone may remember the USA attack on Bagdad where 18,000 civilians were killed. Did someone see it on CNN? Was justice ever served? Or was there even any retaliation?

We hope that Americans finally begin to understand their vulnerability and the cowardly attacks and other tragedies that they have caused around the world.The dead in other places hurt as much as the dead of the Towers, even more!

Now, let's talk about terrorism, shall we?
Wassalaam...

It's my root, I'll never forsake that no matter where I am...

This is my golden era now serving in Z3. Get to play for SNL (Sat Nite Live) almost everyweek may be because not enough drummer to play. I'm glad that I can serve Him almost everyweek. Yesterday, I need to leave half way through the service, so I can't play for the closing of service. And, there was not really a drummer that can take over from me, I feel take I'm really needed in Z3 now.

But, this will not last long, no party in this world will never end. I only have two years to serve in Z3 before the new group takes over. I'm not going to stop there, I'll move on, move on to where my heartbeat is. I have a clear vision of where I want to go after that, my heart is always for evangelism, mission, to touch people lives through worship. And that will be my second time moving on, in serving Him, the first was from PKC live band to Z3.

I'll most likely want to go to BIBLE school, not because I want to be a Pastor but because I want to understand His word more deeply than others do. It will benefit me when I do evangelism next time. I'm always amaze by how the Pastor can almost remember everything in the Bible. I'm amaze by how they can apply biblical examples into any situations. I'm amaze by how they root their life deeply to the Bible.

But, no matter how many times I move on, how far I move on to or where I'm serving. I'll never leave PKC (Power Kids Church). I'll still be around helping them, no matter what tasks and how small it is.

Power Kids Church is my root!
I'll never forsake that no matter where I go. I grow up there, the starting point of my christian walk with Him. The place where I learn how to serve Him. As long as Grace, Clement, Japheth all this people are still there in PKC, I'll never leave. I see them grow up from young naughty children to now serving in PKC, especially Grace, we have gone through a lot of things in PKC, I'm almost like a big brother to her.

No matter where He put me in His work, I will always remember PKC and I'll be proud of it for I grow up there and I'll always belongs there.

Have a dose of thought...

If love demands proof, there is no trust.
When there is no trust, there is no love at all.

A school ironic system...

Recently, my school has introduce this computer lab booking system. It is for those who needs to use the computer in school to book them online. Just log in into the NAFA website and book any computer needed. It's good to help those who don't have computer or don't have the right systems to do their work.

But, somehow... IT'S VERY IRONIC.

Imagine this, if I have no computer, how can I go online to book for a computer to use in school. If I can find a computer to go online to book the computer in school to use, then why will I want to book the computer in school when I can use that computer to do my work.

IT'S SO IRONIC...

Another inspiring true story...

Another inspiring true story...

Scene took place on a BA flight between Johannesburg and London. A white woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man. Obviously disturbed by this, she called the air Hostess. "Madam, what is the matter," the hostess asked. "You obviously do not see it then?" she responded. "You placed me next to a black man. I do not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group. Give me an alternative seat." "Be calm please," the hostess replied. "Almost all the places on this flight are taken. I will go to see if another place is available."

The Hostess went away and then came back a few minutes later. "Madam, just as I thought, there are no other available seats in the economy class. I spoke to the captain and he informed me that there is also no seat in the business class. All the same, we still have one place in the first class." Before the woman could say anything, the hostess continued: "It is not usual for our company to permit someone from the economy class to sit in the first class. However, given the circumstances, the Captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so disgusting."

She turned to the black guy, and said, "Therefore, Sir, if you would like to, please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you in first class." At that moment, the other passengers who were shocked by what they had just witnessed stood up and applauded.

Play fair... Black, white, yellow, we are all the same...

All share the same Creator, God.

The true meaning of "LIGHT"...

On Thursday, my classmate present her artwork to our class. Her artwork is about lights, different people luminate different amount of light. To her people who are more famous and more popular means luminate more lights, those not so popular or famous have no light, something like that.

I TOTALLY DISAGREED WITH BOTH MY HANDS AND LEGS!

She surely don't understand the funtion of "light" or a bulb. "Light" is a source that shine to the darkness, light up a place. Like a bulb, when we switch it on, lights spread out from the bulb to every corner of a place, it's giving away energy.

As for my friend artwork, her understanding about "light" is about human ego, selfishness. Those people who are more famous than other, there are just ego wanting people to know them, they just want to receive attentions. Her understanding of light contradict the true meaning of light, which is about giving not receiving. To me, her artwork is a total fail, she fail to find out and show the true meaning of "light".

There are people who are really bearing the torch, shining lights. It's out there everywhere. Some are famous some are under-dogs, surely their amount of lights got nothing to do with their own ego and fame. Neither they want any attention for themselves.

They are shining bright only for one purpose...
To bring light to those who are still wandering in the darkness...
To bring Christ into their hearts...

Have a dose of thought...

Pride, is like a double-edge sword.

Have a dose of thought...

You either go left or right. You can't go both way at the same time.

This experiences contributes to something... Something great is going to happen...

Has been staying back in school for so many weeks, just to practice the two songs for performance. Me, playing tuba in my school symphonic band, don't really know what I'm into, just want to have fun, excited about going on stage for the first time.

The moment had come, I'm waiting nervously at the back stage of Victoria Concert Hall. My hand grow cold, shaking, never know how it is like doing it for the first time...

For that few years, I have a numbers of performances with my school symphonic band, for national day, school speech day, school concerts... That was a really good experience for me. Those experience contributes to something, which I had no idea what is that at that time.

Then, I start to pick up drums in church. Actually want to learn than in my school symphonic band but was not selected. I remember a class was conducted for those who wanted to learn.

My first time sitting on the drum was not strange to me, I feel very comfortable in the senses that it seems like so familiar to me. May be because I always see drums in my school symphonic band, seeing my good friend play.

Well, I think I'm a fast learner, just took me one week to get that 4/4 beat in my heart, playing that smoothly and able to row at the same time. The lesson last for one month, nothing was up after that, I was not satisfy because the things that I learn are not fully practice, put to use. So, really want to play for someone or some band desperately, with only the basic 2/4 and 4/4 beat skills, I approach the kids ministry in my church.

They got a performance coming up for new year celebration, it's really a good chance for me to use my drum skills that I learn, fully. I practice hard for it, even use keyboard set to drum mode and practice everyday at home. Met up with the guitarist and keyboardist in kids ministry everyweek to practice.

The second moment of my life had come, playing drums for a performance in church, was nervous too, but not as nervous as the first time in Victoria Concert Hall, may be those experience in symphonic band helped in someways.

I'T WAS VERY BAD
The first time playing drums for a church performance was very, very bad, I keep going out of time, can't keep it properly, can't really heard what the others are singing and playing. Did not know that the drum was so loud it covered the whole band. I felt ashamed.

Then, one year later, I approached a worship leader, wanting to play for our church youth camp. I want more, just want to gain more experience in playing drums. He is fine it and I'm happy that I'm in.

Third moment in my life, playing drums for a worship service, last for about 45 minutes, and that 45 minutes was the most stress and nervous time in my whole life. Was not really good also, did not really play the song very well, but I did not give up, I promise myself that I must volunteer myself to play drums for youth camp every year. Those experience was good, it contribute to something which I do not know what was that at that time. This carry on for a few years.

Then, I'm thinking of forming a band, I brought this up to the kid's ministry, suggest to have a official band in kid's ministry. I got the people, people to play and guide us, the band was push forward, things work out well, lives changed, it grows through out the years. Those experience was really good I learn to play properly as a band, and it also contribute to something, which I don't know what is it.

After playing for sometime in the kid's ministry band, I decided to move on to something more, I need to learn more, to gain more experience in playing drums. I decided to join the youth band in our church hope to get something out of it. I was called to be in this band to play for the youth camp, which was a testing ground for us to join the youth band. We did well for that camp, at least we all make it into the youth band in our church. Been playing in this youth band for sometime, still remember I was ask to sit and listen to them before I can actually sat on the drum and play. Those experience really benefits me, getting me ready for something I don't know.

Yesterday, the fourth moment of my life, a tug-of-war between pride and Christ. Playing before eight hundred plus people, if my attitude is not right, things will not be right on stage. I was not nervous at all when I'm on stage
as compare to those time in my school symphonic band or first time on drums before my own church. Those experiences really comes in handy at that moment. I realize those experiences was made for that moment yesterday, sitting up there showing how God works through me with my hands, thanking Him for this talent of drumming.

Finished, it was great, better than any playing in my life.

I came down, telling myself this thing...

I'M IN FOR GREATER THINGS TO HAPPEN IN MY LIFE WITH THIS SMALL TALENT I HAVE.

Lives are going to be change as I use this hands I have on the drums.
THIS WORLD I'M GONA SHAKE WITH THOSE BEATS OF MY DRUMS.

JUST FOR HIM ALONE...

The strength that is perfact in all weaknesses...

"Each time He said, "My grace is all you need. My strength is perfact in your weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may work through me."
Taken from the BIBLE 2Corinthians 12:9

T-Rex use to rule the land.
Lion, the king of all animals.
Shark, rules the sea.
Cheetah, the fastest four-legged

All of them have one common factor.
All of them have weakness, things that they can't do.

No matter how strong and big a T-Rex is, he only can look up the sky and wonder what is up there.
No matter how good a lion can hunt, he can't catch the swallow.
No matter how sharp a shark is, if you don't swim in the sea, he can't get you.
No matter how fast the cheetah can run, he only can run for a short distance.

We, Man, also have weakness. But, we are different from those animals. Our weakness can be cover.

HE, who is great, covers all weakness. So that we may believe in HIM, and other people shall said that HE is a true and living God. For HE work through my
weaknesses.

Smoke from the jossticks (15 more days to go...)

Smoke from the jossticks
by comrade commissar PerPlExED @ Wednesday, August 11, 2004,
11:36:12AM
http://tanttt.blogspot.com/2004/08/smoke-from-jossticks.html

On a Tuesday morning, I walked along the walkways of shophouses in central Toa Payoh.A "Mei Zhen Xiang" employee appears from his shop, & walked to a pillar along the corridor. A mini altar dedicated to a Taoist deity was hung there. The man reached out, took out a lighter & jossticks, & solemnly offered this to the gods.Amidst the human traffic along the heavily used walkway he stood still.

For a precious few minutes, his work was put aside. For those minutes, this dignified employed man's actions revealed a little of his inner insecurities. What did he think of? Friends? Work? Health? His future?

After he was done, he returned to attend to the shop. The smoke from the incense dissipate & disappear. The glow eat away at the limited fuel. The activity at the altar eventually dies down to stillness again.The questions left unanswered are pacified for the moment. Tomorrow, he will return to stand among men & before idols, with new worries & real burdens.

Recently, this month, the PSI unit must be quite high and everywhere are very dirty. Papers been burn, ashes flying everywhere, smoke rising from the ground, smelly.

HEAVY AIR POLUTION!

But, they are still doing it. Still have 15days to go, 15days of unsecure unless they burn some paper, 15days of fear unless they burn some sticks, 15days of worries for the safetly of their children unless they put the meat to waste.

15 more days of unnesscersary actions to feel safe.

What's the point of doing all this? It just reflect that they are small and weak. Mouth proclaim that their gods save men from disasters, but now they are offering sacrifice to the "ghost" so to make sure the "ghost" don't bully them. That's so ironic, if their god can save madkind from disasters why their god can't protect them from those "ghost".

Do all this again and again just to fufil their basic human nature, having the sence of security and peace. And it must be renew everyday.

THERE IS A BETTER WAY TO FIND PEACE AND SECURE.

At least when you get it, you would need to renew everyday, it's for a life time.

Open your heart to let HIM comes in...